The Land of Ozz

The following is a edited version of what Googlism returns when you type in “Hank”. The information in the [brackets] was added to spice it up a little. I am known as TheOzz on my blog, but better known as Hank around the house.

hank is either …the younger brother of sam [or] hank is her father
hank is a large albino male giant green iguana
hank is sure that hank is the best name in the entire world and would like to solve the problem with natural disasters
hank is author of two books and numerous papers on computer systems
hank is the alter ego of steve [whoever that is]
hank is a man of few words shaped profoundly by his father buck[le from the belt]
hank is not merely a result of a multiple personality disorder; hank is also subject to fits of “involuntary narcissistic rage
hank is a graduate of the university of florida with a degree in history and was on football scholarship [when he woke up]
hank is a writer [It's my story and I will tell it how I want]
hank is a sincere pleasure [to buy lunch for]
hank is also an expert at internet based education and is currently earning an ms in [blogging]
hank is an anthropologist who has taught in colleges [until being thrown out for claiming to live on Noah's Ark]
hank is pulled from the pool [becuase] hank is drunk however [on OTA trackbacks]
hank is much good looking [as ling as Mrs. Ozz agrees then I don't care what anyone else says]

hank is an entertaining genealogical lecturer hank is not
hank is a founding member and past president of the delaware otsego critical incident stress debriefing team serving emergency responders in central new york hank is not
hank is an old guy sitting in a chair
[when]
hank is a billionaire philanthropist
hank is no clone [but he should be]
hank is a bona fide star today [at least in his own mind]
hank is the way he is [boy ain't that the truth]
hank is the best [at something he has not yet discovered]
hank is joined by his colorful 7 [cents after buying gas for a week]
hank is in an alfalfa field [agent for hair replacement therapy]
hank is kidnapped short time later by the criminal gang in order to make mckenna maintain silence on [area 51]
hank is a true match at all levels listed above
hank is accused of murder
hank is living with the olson family [osborne actually]
hank is a second [only to the great Instapundit when it comes to blogging]
hank is also involved with producing internet advertising conferences and seminars [aimed at dethroning Michele Malkin and others like her form the top of the blogshere]
hank is the most beautiful person in the world according to people [who want him to link to them]
hank is that way [nOOO, not that way]
hank is playing in 1999 as opposed [partying like it's 1999]
hank is a great storyteller
hank is beatting michael up [for touching those little boys]
hank is determined to pass his views onto his son sonny [ideas for the name of his next child?]
hank is a multi [national spy using his blog to spread spy software to every computer on the planet]
hank is a regular on the shock jock’s radio show; they assumed he was a mythical creation designed to poke fun at the way people defines and hank is swarmed by autograph seekers and lamar’s plaid fans [do what?]

hank is now an abusive [member of the free world of blogging]
hank is the centre of the comedy [at this moment in time]
hank is a fine jazz vocalist and a brilliant pianist [only on Thursdays when the moon is full and is snows 153 inches in Miami]
hank is charged with supervising the execution of death [row inmates in the comment spammer's jail]
hank is connected to the following things [sites that link here]
hank is a tough even though hank is afraid to sleep alone
hank is tackling sports on local 8 news weeknights at 11pm and is also doing color commentary for the san diego chargers on 760 kfmb hank is not

hank is

hank is da man

Hat tip: Danny Kaye over at www. nothing important to .us who got it from Adjust.

Well it looks like I am almost 80% Fundamentalist according to the folks that put this fun little quiz together. I am not completely sure what some of the categories in this result even mean. I am also curious as to how you can be 79% of one thing and then 71% of another, and then 64% of a couple of others. That is fuzzy math.

I am certainy glad that I am not considered to be a modern liberal. I probably got 14% due to my choosing a score of 3 out of 5 on some questions that I thought were a little poorly worded and I was forced to answer just to get the result.

What's your theological worldview?
created with QuizFarm.com

Please note that I have categoriezed this post as faith and humor. Well, that’s enough fun for one night.

Hat tip to The Rogue Angel for leading me to this quiz.

The beef from one determined cow might not hit the table. An AP story reported on the WFTV.com web site tells of a Cow That Escaped From Slaughterhouse May Be Granted Clemency. We will have to wait to see if any of those calling for her clemency want to put their money where their mouth is to save this heifer. The owner is willing to sell the cow to anyone who REALLY wants to save her.

I have been waiting on a season of Survivor where they film it in a very cold and dangerous environment. I would love to see a Survivor Alaska. Heck, I might even audition for that one. It looks like I should not hold my breath according to MSNBC. Even though Survivor is a CBS show, Andy Dehnart over at MSNBC seems to think that we will never see an extreme cold-weather survivor “Because the cast can’t get half-naked. Seriously, what makes for better TV.” Well, I can think of a few things that would make for “better TV” and movies for that matter, but my opinions seem to be a little out of the mainstream in Hollyweird these days. So I will forego any Survivor auditions anytime soon because I assure you that the CBS ratings would drop off the charts if I were shown half-naked.

Author unknown. Hat tip to Greg Carroll.

Linked to The Conservative Cat’s Funny Stuff, Bloggin’ Outloud’s Friday Funny Stuff and Don Surber.

I don’t know how she does it, but Michelle Malkin has the best coverage on the hottest subjects. You can get your fill of the news with the best set of links on Hurricane Katrina and Camp Casey.

Here are the latest and greatest from Malkin:

On Katrina. Look at other recent posts on her site as well.

On Sheehan and Sharpton she does not comment, but led me to The Political Teen’s Coverage. The Political Teen also delivers plenty of laughs with coverage that shows Sheehan doesn’t know anything about anything.

I found these things on Blogthings.com via a link off of Rambly Scrambly Thoughts via a comment off of TulipGirl’s blog.

Thanks all…I enjoyed these.

Here they are a few of the tons of cool toys over there at Blogthings:

The World’s Shortest Personality Test
A Quick and Dirty IQ Test
What’s Your Religious Philosophy?

I have no idea where this originated. There are several versions floating around on the Internet. I received it in an email from my friend Robin. The story has not been verified to be true or false and should be considered only for its entertainment value.

Enjoy!

Billy Graham was returning to Charlotte after a speaking engagement and when his plane arrived there was a limousine there to transport him to his home. As he prepared to get into the limo, he stopped and spoke to the driver.

“You know” he said, “I am 87 years old and I have never driven
a limousine. Would you mind if I drove it for a while?”

The driver said, “No problem. Have at it.”

Billy gets into the driver’s seat and they head off down the highway.

A short distance away sat a rookie State Trooper operating his first speed trap. The long black limo went by him doing 70 in a 55 mph zone.

The trooper pulled out and easily caught the limo and got out
of his patrol car to begin the procedure.

The young trooper walked up to the driver’s door and when the glass was rolled down he was surprised to see who was driving.

He immediately excused himself and went back to his car and called his supervisor.

He told the supervisor, “I know we are supposed to enforce the
law but I also know that important people are given certain courtesies. I need to know what I should do because I have stopped a very important person.”

The supervisor asked, “Is it the governor?”

The young trooper said, “No, he’s more important than that.”

The supervisor said, “Oh, so it’s the president.”

The young trooper said, “Not, he’s even more important than that.”

The supervisor finally asked, “Well then, who is it?”

The young trooper said, “I think it’s Jesus because he’s got Billy Graham for a chauffeur!”

True or Not it is a great story. I laughed so hard I could barely breathe.